Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sam is still in the Navy, Lord willing! We were really scared for a bit because of the Enlisted Review Board, but we gave it to God , and it was in His will for Sam to stay in!!! Now we aregood to go until fall, and then we will have to start PTS, another "board" to see if there is room for him in his job, or if he has to cross-rate (change jobs). Oh, the drama of the military! I can say though, with the drama, comes a lot of benefits. Sam is very proud to serve and I am even more proud to stand by his side for the past 11 years in the Navy and 12 years married.
*Something exciting this year, Sam's great-Uncle Art gave him his 24-foot Air Stream trailer and Suburban. Sam's mom and step-dad Mike flew Sam and David out to Las Vegas, and after a fun day of visiting with everyone there, they had a daddy and son road trip back to Washington. They made a couple stops along the way, visiting cousins Shelly, Norm, Brittany and Isaac. It was so great for them. We have used the Air Stream once already, and it was a lot of fun. We plan to get a lot more use out of it during the spring and summer. Thanks Uncle Art, we love you!
Cheyton turnes 11 this year, and started 6th grade. He got a new cell phone and has gained an interest in girls. And the girls like hime too! Oy vey! He love playing football with the neighborhood kids, just about everyday. He played very well in baseball and his team won the 2011 basketball championships. Unfortunately he did have a pretty good fall one game, and there was a bully problem with one of the teams, but he survived. We did physical therapy for a couple of weeks and were good to go! This year, he will only be playing baseball. If his grades improve, he'll be able to do school sports next year! Cheyton is a talented athlete, and we are thrilled to watch his games this year! Go get 'em Chey!
Ethan has had a good year. We sometimes call him our emotional one. We have been talking to him about the importance of talking about what's inside and not just crying and letting it sit in. He is a healthy 10 year old, 4th grader. A social butterfly right now. His best friend is Ryan K., and his teacher is the one he had hoped for ALL summer long. Ethan hopes to get a violin in February and start lessons with Miss Amanda soon thereafter. We're excited to see what's coming up for him!
David! David! David! Where do I even start? So much happens in just a day with him, that it's going to be difficult to squash his year down to one paragraph. He's really had a good year when you sum it up. He has had some issues in school, but like Ethan, it's more emotionally driven. He's seeing the counselor and making progress. Once my second surgery is over, I think a lot of his worry will be gone. We'll pray and we'll see. He is such a funny boy, always trying to make people laugh. Highlight this year, had to be his desire to want to celebrate Hanukkah. What made it so funny is that he only wanted to, because he wanted to spin the dreidel. Oh David. David is getting real drums, and lessons this year. He's excited. We are too!
I love that all 3 boys have their own place that they shine! My ears may hate me fore it later, haha, but the end result will be haappy boys fulfilling their dreams.
I had a rollercoaster kind of year. Obviously there was a lot of pain, a lot of depression and just a lot of moments where I just felt like I wasn't myself. I wasn't able to be who God intended me to be, because I was falling into the black whole. Luckily, I have a great team of doctors, and some great friends and family who are always praying for me. Healing came for me! My doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon who dug a little deeper and found out that surgery was our one and only option. The physical therapy that they were doing was bad for me. I had my right hip replaced October 28th, and I am doing really well with the recovery. Another issue I have is fibromyalgia. I was referred to a rheumatologist, and I was set aback when he prayed with me and had Bible verses to share with me. God was most definitely involved in lining him up! Unfortunately, we haven't found anything medicinal or therapeutic to help yet, but we are still trying. We meet monthly and I thoroughly enjoy our visits. One final doctor that I will mention, is my ENT doc. I went to him for the masses that are in my jaw. Most people immediately think TMJ. No, after the doctor first thinking I was imagining things and was a hypochondriac, and lip biopsies to rule out Sjogrens disease and Lymphoma, scans showed that I have an extra set of parotid glands. Unfortunately, there is 1 doctor in WA that has ever done surgery to remove them before. Tricare won't cover them. So I am stuck with the pain. The reality is, if I have the surgery, I can get partial facial paralysis. So instead of doing the surgery, they said I have to wait until they grow and start causing problem, such as partial facial paralysis. They have grown a little bit since then. I think I may make an appointment for a check-up with him...A lot going on, but one thing I know, God will see me through it!
2011 was great, and ended really well too! We had a nice Christmas and a fun New Years Eve. We went to the movies for NYE and saw Happy Feet 2 and Jack and Jill. They were both really good! We came home and had pizza with the kids and I made some homemade brownies for dessert. We had the company of the Crews family and everybody but David made it until midnight. I got my kiss from my hubby, love from Cheyton and Ethan, and gave David a kiss on the cheek! A great end to 2011!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Come forth in all thy majesty
Show me thy gaze
Teach me thy ways
That I a better person may be
Come forth in all thy mystery
Show me thy gaze
Teach me thy ways
That I a better person may be
Come forth in all thy unity
Let me be thy gaze
Let me teach thy ways
That I a better person may be
Friday, December 23, 2011
What people see on the outside and what is on the inside, are not always the same. There are moments that I want to sceam and cry because I am in agonizing pain. And YES, it is that bad. BUT, I don't. I put on the strong front because I don't want to be defined by my pain, my disease or my disabilities. My boys stress about me being broken all the time and Iit breaks my heart.
I want to be defined by my faith, by my joy and by being who I really am!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Now, I felt really bad at my initial reaction. All I could ask is, "why?" I just wasn't sure if he thought I was someone else or if I had done something...Or perhaps they wanted to hurry me and my rowdy boys out of the store. :) He simply said that they just wanted to bless our family with some help with groceries, said a sincere Merry Christmas and walked on.
As I walked away, people smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Then I finished my shopping, keeping my eye out for the manager. I wanted to get a chance to talk to him when my thoughts were collected. It wasn't until the very end of my shopping trip that I ran into him. I told him, "I just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for the gift that you have given my family. It was so unexpected and I am not often caught by surprise, hence my ridiculous response before. So again, thank you so much, it means a lot to my family and I!"
His response..."Not a problem. It's kind of neat when you get those responses because you know people are really caught off guard. I see you have 3 hollow-boned boys to feed! Enjoy the gift card, and have a Merry Christmas!"
I replied, "God bless you!"
He said, "May God bless you and yours!"
I was in pain the whole time, the boys were acting up, and I kept feeling like I was getting in peoples' ways, but it turned into a good day!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
When I was young, we would always be with Grandma Cookie. Christmas Eve we would all come together...Aunts, uncles, cousins! Grandma would make her candied walnuts, and Aunt Tessie would usually bring over some of her delicious shanghai rolls. They were both so yummy. What I would give to have some right now!!! After snacking on the food, we would all spend time together until Uncle Wally came over with his guitar. Then it was my favorite time! CHRISTMAS CAROLS! He would play guitar and every once in a while grandma would play her organ. She was so proud, and we were proud of her too! We would sing and sing until we couldn't think of any Christmas songs anymore. Then we'd sing TV theme songs! Then Uncle Wally would sing a couple of his songs he had written, EVERY once in a while. It was so much fun! Finally, it would be time for us to go outside to try and find Santa and the reindeer in the sky and then say goodnight to everyone. Then, off to bed. In the morning, we opened presents, taking turns by order of age. We ate coffee cakes dipped in syrup, made by Grandma Cookie and visited with more family. All in all, it was family time and that was what was important.
Now, I am grown and have a family of my own and we have to make traditions of our own. The other night we were at the table and my son David said, "there are three things important about Christmas: 1)It's Jesus' birthday, 2) it's time for family and 3) we can give each other presents." I think he has got it down pretty well (not that the presents are that important.) Our focus needs to be on the birth of Christ and making sure that our kids remember that there is more to Christmas than the commercial side. We are lucky enough to have some family here in Washington this year with us, and we are very happy for that! We will be missing the ones we won't be with! You will be in our hearts. On Christmas Eve, we will be going to a Christmas Eve service, and then I will be reading the boys the Nativity and the Night Before Christmas. Maybe I'll get them to sing a few carols with me, who knows?!?! We will let them open one present and the rest will be left for morning. We are looking forward to having some of our military friends/family over on Christmas for a dessert potluck. Should be a lot of fun!
What were/are your traditions? Any that you kept from when you were a kid? I'd love to hear about them.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
As I look back on 2011, I see good things, and that's what I am going to focus on. I am so grateful that I was able to lose weight, turn my depression around, get my surgery done and finish up school.
Looking into 2012, we have another great family vacation planned for the Great Wolf Lodge, I have another hip surgery in February or March & after recovery I'll look for work for the first time in several years. We will be looking forward to visits from Grandma Jamie and Judy and whoever else might visit...and who knows, we may get to make a summer trip out east to visit friends...we shall see.
Those are huge things happening, that's for sure. But, I want to focus on keeping myself healthy this year. Learn more recipes, and cook them at home. Exercise more so I can tone up. Keep my therapy appointments, physical and mental. Date my husband to keep or relationship alive amd kicking (though, as most of you know, we're doing fine...always good to preserve :>). Spend time with my boys individually. Be a friend more. And finally, spend more time with God. This is obviously top priority, but plays in ask of the above.
2012 will be a good year.
Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of the future, are ALWAYS defeated by faith. You can let your imagination run wild and imagine all sorts of terrible scenarios, or you can let your imagination run wild and imagine all the fabulous possibilities. With God, all things are possible...Delilah
It seems like many of my friends and family members are going through so much right now. My cousin Laurie just passed away after battling cancer, my friends mom just found out she has cancer, two sisters getting surgery, one sister whose doctor won't even order tests because she has MediCal...SO many financial needs, relationship woes, people moving, jobs lost...I can go on and on! And this is just what affects the people around me!!!
I have experienced a lot of what they are going through...in fact, aside from getting diagnosed with cancer myself and losing a job, I've been through it all. I am praying so hard right now for each and every one of my friends out there. There is real power in prayer!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Some of you are well aware of what Molly Bears is...Others of you, may not be.
The short, very sad story; My friends baby girl, Molly Christine, was still-born at 34 weeks, due to a tight true knot in her umbilical cord. My friend was given a weighted bear, weighing close to what Molly did, and she found it comforting to sleep with it. So she started making them for a couple of the other "angel mommies" she had received support from. From there, Molly Bears came alive! It is now an official non-profit and has reached EVERY state in the US and several countries! I am so excited to see Molly live on in this way!!!!
Here is the link for more info... https://www.mollybears.com/TheMollyBearStory.php
SOOOO..A Molly Bears party is where people come together and sew the inserts, stuff the bears, and get them ready for personalization and shipment. I learned that I can in fact sew...LOL! It was a very bittersweet time! I love Bridget and her whole family so much and feel blessed to have the opportunity to be involved in Molly Bears. But as I sewed the weight inserts, and felt the weight on my lap, I knew that was somebody's BABY! <3 Some were so tiny they could only hold fluff, others were more than 10 pounds.
I held myself together there, silently praying for each family as I sewed. I am so glad I went and I had a great time with great conversation! I look forward to doing it again soon!
REFLECTION: Something that Bridget and I talked about while we were there, was that we have to look at the kids that we have as our miracles. We are VERY luck to have healthy, happy kids. I <3 my boys!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
*White to symbolize the Virgin Birth and sinless nature of Jesus.
*The hardness of the candy was used to to symbolize the Solid Rock, the Foundation of the Church and firmness of the promises of God.
*the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, it also represents the staff of the "Good Shepherd"
*red stripes for the blood shed by Christ at the ...cross so we could have the promise of eternal life.
Friday, December 9, 2011
1998- The year my sister, Lenetta, had her first brain surgery...She got to be home in time for Christmas!!! Not a direct gift to me, but made all of our Christmas wishes come true that year!!!!
I miss her every day! But have comfort that she is in Heaven and no longer in pain!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Anyway! My doctor said that my surgery should be within the month! It's all in Tricare's hands now. If they take their time, of course that will change timing...I will have the first available surgery appointment after the auth is approved! I will update soon!
Monday, August 22, 2011
I don't have too much to say today...
Thursday, August 18, 2011
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Saturday, August 13, 2011
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change! I think I touched base on this before, but this is so important and keeps being brought up to me. We don't have to be happy with the circumstances that we are in, the status of our health, our finances; whatever it may be! We do however need to realize that we don't have or want control of any of our issues. We need to give control to God so He can help us! And if it means accepting the fact that we need to let it go, so be it!
The courage to change the things I can! I really like that the word courage is used in this part! Any change is difficult and it takes a lot of dedication and sometimes it even takes falling on your face and getting back up again (a couple times sometimes), before you really make the change or form the habit.
And the wisdom to know the difference! Wisdom...Need I say much more than that?? We all lack it at times, we all want it and we all need it! We need to take the time to pray that God will help us to recognize the things that we can control, and things we can't, things we can change, things we can't! The more we pray for this, the better our day to day decision making is going to be. I think it will also help create a cycle... Prayer for wisdom leads to acceptance, acceptance helps creates courage, courageousness helps create necessary change, this change makes you thankful for wisdom and you pray for more!
Of course this is my take! I would love to hear back from you on this or whatever else you have to say...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Today I was having A day!!!! I was hurting and I was edgy and I just felt like I was overwhelmed. Well, when it was time to cook dinner, I settled in the kitchen and a calmness seemed to settle on me. I came up with a pretty yummy recipe too! Coconut Chicken!
I am not able to do much with my hips the way they are right now, and with the other issues going on right now. I think that God has revealed to me a talent that will be easy for me to use no matter what and that really does help me feel better. Maybe not physically, but emotionally or something :)
Do you have something like this?
Friday, August 5, 2011
So yesterday was plain and simply not a good day. I am thankful the Lord gave me it, but even more thankful it over!!! :) Some days are just going to be better than others!!!
I am trying something new...everyday, before I even get out of bed, I am going to say a prayer of thanksgiving! There are so many things that I am thankful for right now, they are just overflowing my heart. If I can START my day taking notice of all the blessings in my life, my days could go that much better!
A few things I am thankful for today...
1. A new day
2. 12 years with my hubby
3. My father in law is OK
4. My kids behaved for my friend Bridget yesterday!
5. A weekend with nothing much planned!
6. I am surrounded by great friends and family
7. HE loves me!
There's so much more!!! What's on your list???
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I posted the poem Footprints In The Sand today. It is on my vision board because Jesus promised to never leave me or forsake me! And He cares for me. One of my favorite passages of the poem is...
"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, that You would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have been only one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you." (Mary Stevenson)
I know that this is "just" a poem that someone has written, but the truth that it brings, is so important. He helps to carry you through the trials and walks with you through the good times in life. He's ALWAYS there!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I can't tell you how many days, especially in this last week, that I just wanted to just count all of the bad things that have piled up on my plate! LOL! If you are on my facebook, you might have seen I had a status along those lines. I tend to forget, and a lot of us do, that the good things in life SURELY outweigh the trials and the trials often end up making us stronger and teaching us the fruits of the spirit. We become more like Christ.
Something else that I have learned from this little card, is that I don't have to get everything done today...Obviously there are things that I am going to want to get done. But I need to make my priorities. Don't fill my days. I can't I get too tired :)
Monday, August 1, 2011
A little background.
About 9 years ago, I started having aching in my hips and lower back. So, I was also having babies and gaining the weight that sometimes comes with it. As the years went on the pain got increased little by little, however something more important was going on (sincerely) and the pain was "tolerable" so I just pushed it off to the back burner.
About 2 1/2 years ago, doctors in San Diego found "the" source of my pain while doing an xray for another issue. I have what is called protrusio acetabuli. My hips have migrated into my pelvis, and are continuing to do so, slowly but surely. I was sent to the orthopaedic surgeon and he said that the only treatment would be surgery. Hip replacement surgery. Whoa!
So, I moved here to Washington, and the weather is very harsh on me. I am in a lot of pain. Most days I am a 7/10, and some days up to a 9/10. Come to find out (through the dedication of a lot of great docs out here) that I have fibromyalgia, moderate-severe osteoarthritis in the hips and spine, degenerative disk disease throughout my spine, osteopenia in my hips and spine...the list goes on. I am seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist for depression that patterns with my pain. They are encouraging me in my habit/attitude changes!
I titled the blog, Pain Today, What Tomorrow?, because this is my journey and I although I don't know what tomorrow holds, I am confident that it can get better. I just did my vision board (I'll post pics soon).
I am going to try and at least hit one point on my board everyday...Maybe it is something I am struggling with at the moment...Maybe something I can check off my list so to speak.