Healing...We Need It!

I watched the video above this morning and it was really what I needed to hear.  Obviously you all know about my health issues, and the depression...But now we are dealing with bullying issues with my son Cheyton.  We do not have the school backing us up at this point, and it has been happening daily since October.  It is taking a toll on him and on all of us!  Please keep Cheyton, us, the administration and even the bullies in your prayers. 

~That Cheyton will feel safe and be happy for the weekend because he can sleep in, and not that it will be a couple days of not getting bullied...That's what he told Sam in a conversation last night :(
~For Ethan and David too, as they hear tidbits here and there, and I am sure they see him down.  Maybe pray that they can help encourage him   <3
~That We will know the next step to take, and not move based on emotions...
~That the administration will realize the mistakes that have been made, and take the initiative to make things right so that other kids will not have to go through this...Or at least will not have to endure it for as long as Cheyton has!
~And pray that the bullies have a change happen in their hearts.  I know that often there is something happening within them, their home or something, that makes them act the way they do.  I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS EXCUSING THEM...Simply knowing that I have to pray for them.

I am sorry that I cannot give more detail at this time, but I feel as though it's for the best.  But please be praying.   Thanks everyone!  I will update soon!

Decisions Decisions...

I saw Dr. Smith, my surgeon on Friday.  She was impressed with my improvement, especially with my gait.  She told me to keep up with the exercises, stretches and walking, so we can strengthen up the outer muscle of the hip as much as possible before the next surgery.

We discussed next surgery (left hip replacement), in particular, the timeline.  First she said October, but she said that due to my level of pain, that she'd give me a choice of April or October.  She asked me to please discuss it with Sam, and see what is best for all of us, and to let her know.  Sam and I discussed it and we decided that I will be going in, in April. 

It seems like so soon, but she said she is OK with either. I am looking forward to recovering in the somewhat warmer months.   Winter is harsh on my bones as it is, recovering from surgery and my aches and pains added to that, was not fun.  Another plus, will be that the boys will get to go through the surgery with the same teachers that have already experienced my other one with, and I think that will be very helpful for them.  To me earlier is better than later...I am ready to get the surgery done and over with and be on the road to recovery. 

If you can all be in prayer with me, as the process now begins with the insurance company and prepping emotionally for the surgery, that would be great.  I am not nearly as anxious this time around, since I know what to expect.  However, the boys do still get antsy and as time gets closer it only gets worse.  I try to comfort them, and I hope they will remember how well it went last time...But I don't know what goes on in their little heads and hearts.  So indeed my friends, prayers and encouragement for Sam, the boys and I, and of course the doctors too! 

Thanks  ~:o)~

Yesterdays Issues

Me: "I use to throw up."
Doc:  "Bulimia? How long ago?"
Me:  "Off and on since I was 11."
Doc:  "Now?"
Me:  "Oh, no, not now. It's been about 6 years."
Doc:  "A lot of your issues with weight and self confidence and definitely your dental issues all make a little more sense."
Me:  It's a constant battle that I wish I could say I never think about.
Doc:  It's like any other addiction. You were addicted to a behavior and eventually quit doing it. Did you ever get treatment for it. Ever talk to anyone about it?
Me: No. Maybe it's time.
Doc:  Maybe.

This was a conversation my doctor and I had just the other day. It may be shock to some of you, I know it was for my mom. I am not proud of my self image or the choices that I made.

My reason for writing is just to remind you all that things from your past do affect you NOW. There are so many healthy ways to take care of your body, to lose weight and to feel beautiful. Also, most importantly, look at yourself as God sees you. He has made you in His image. There's no such thing as human perfection, so there's no sense in striving for it, especially in unhealthy ways.

Bulimia is a real problem. A disease. It can happen to girls and boys, men and women. When I first started, I was a "tiny" 6th grader who had tinier friends. Now looking back, I know it's a lame excuse. As an older teen, I did it for weight maintainance. And as am adult, looking at my life, I have no excuse. I have a husband who lives me and truly loves and accepts me for who I am.  I guess I just find it so hard to look in the mirror and see beyond the physical. 

This is something I am going to work in with my therapist, and hopefully it won't be an issue ever again. I want to be an example to my nieces and especially to my sons, but I can't be that until I get everything right with me.

For those who may speculate, this had nothing to do with my weight loss this past year. It has been 6 years since I have purged and I am in a coherent place now...just need to get a little bit further. 

Enough for now. Thanks for reading.

Dentist...Criiiiinge no more!

Yesterday I faced my fear and went to the dentist for a root canal. After being afraid for the past week and making myself sick all morning, it really wasn't that bad. I had taken some medication the night before and day of to relax me, and I only needed 1 shot of Novocaine!  That is very impressive for me!  Especially because there was an infection in the tooth, which usually makes it difficult to numb it up.  The dentist was very nice and aware that I was nervous and when I was done, gave me a pat on the back. 

Unfortunately, he then said that I have to come back and get another root canal on a molar.  There is a crack in the filling and the decay is above that.  And...more infection.  So I go in on Thursday next week to get it done and I'm not as nervous this time.  At least not as much.  I have to get this done before my hip replacement, and the infection is almost all the way to the sinus cavity, so it NEEDS to be done! 

WISH ME LUCK!   

Thoughts of Moving

When you are in the military, especially right now, you always have to have a back-up plan.  Be prepared just in case this is your last term.  Sam will be putting in for PTS, Preform To Serve, in September, and that will determine if we will be staying in the Navy, or if we will be civilians in 2 years.  I told my mom last night that 2 years was a long time, but honestly, it's really not. 

Last night Sam and I were watching the show House Hunters.  They were in a city in the mid-west and the scenery, houses, amount of land for your money, was amazing.  So, we started looking at houses in Tennessee.  We had already been contemplating Oklahoma before, so it's not much further.  There were many houses that appealed to us that are well within our budget.  I am going to do some more research into the schools, and work, and of pray about it.  God has a plan for us!  Is this it?  I'm not sure, we will see!

Now of course, all of this is just when we get out.  It can be 2 years from now, it can be 6 years from now!  Like I said we just want to have something planned out. 

Plans Laying Out...

So I went to the doctor today and we talked about a lot of things.  Some people may think that talking about medical stuff on a blog, is too much, but, I think it's important.  We switched a couple meds, lowered doses on another and are talking about going back on Zoloft for a bit. 




The highlighted masses near the
jaw, are the extra parotid glands.

 ENT- (for the extra parotid glands)

For those of you who don't know, I have an extra set of parotid glands.  I see an ENT for "treatment," or as it usually stands.  Today I got a letter saying that the ENT specialist I was seeing in Seattle is retiring and to doctors are taking his place.  If Tricare will cover these docs, I may see if they will take a look at my scansand see how they are growing.  I would like to see if they can do or have ever done anything for something like this.   I feel like maybe it is an opportunity for a second opinion, and will be starting the phone calls soon.



My hip-after replacement



Orthopaedics- (for the hips and spine)

Had surgery #1, and am healing well.  Hip surgery 2 will be in February/March time frame.  After physical therapy is done for that, the doctor is going to address the comprssed discs in my lumbar spine.  They are starting to go all the way up to my neck and all the way down to my tailbone, so we need to get it under control. 

Rheumatology-(for fibromyalgia)

This is my Christian doctor.  I am going to talk to him about new options for treatment of fibromyalgia.  Not necessarily medication, but something.  ANYTHING!  He also counsels me a lot and prays with me, so our appointments are very imprtant, meaningful and effective to some extent!  

Mental Health-(for depression and chronic pain therapy)

I see both a social worker and a psychiatrist for therapy.  My social worker is for talk therapy and I am currently doing a pain management workbook with her.  She is really nice and has a way of getting things out of me!  Haha!  I guess that's the point!  My psychiatrist is for talking as well, but he deals more with prescribing and regulating medications and referring me out to other specialists if need be.  He,also, is great and has been an asset to my team of doctors. 

So Long 2011!

As I sat at the table New Years Eve morning, I sat and realized how thankful I needed to be.  2011 was a pretty good year, and we are all still in one piece. 

Sam is still in the Navy, Lord willing!  We were really scared for a bit because of the Enlisted Review Board, but we gave it to God , and it was in His will for Sam to stay in!!!  Now we aregood to go until fall, and then we will have to start PTS, another "board" to see if there is room for him in his job, or if he has to cross-rate (change jobs).  Oh, the drama of the military!  I can say though, with the drama, comes a lot of benefits.  Sam is very proud to serve and I am even more proud to stand by his side for the past 11 years in the Navy and 12 years married. 

*Something exciting this year, Sam's great-Uncle Art gave him his 24-foot Air Stream trailer and Suburban.  Sam's mom and step-dad Mike flew Sam and David out to Las Vegas, and after a fun day of visiting with everyone there, they had a daddy and son road trip back to Washington.  They made a couple stops along the way, visiting cousins Shelly, Norm, Brittany and Isaac.  It was so great for them.  We have used the Air Stream once already, and it was a lot of fun.  We plan to get a lot more use out of it during the spring and summer.  Thanks Uncle Art, we love you!

Cheyton turnes 11 this year, and started 6th grade.  He got a new cell phone and has gained an interest in girls.  And the girls like hime too!  Oy vey!  He love playing football with the neighborhood kids, just about everyday.  He played very well in baseball and his team won the 2011 basketball championships.  Unfortunately he did have a pretty good fall one game, and there was a bully problem with one of the teams, but he survived.  We did physical therapy for a couple of weeks and were good to go!  This year, he will only be playing baseball.  If his grades improve, he'll be able to do school sports next year!  Cheyton is a talented athlete, and we are thrilled to watch his games this year!  Go get 'em Chey!

Ethan has had a good year.  We sometimes call him our emotional one.  We have been talking to him about the importance of talking about what's inside and not just crying and letting it sit in.  He is a healthy 10 year old, 4th grader.  A social butterfly right now.  His best friend is Ryan K., and his teacher is the one he had hoped for ALL summer long.  Ethan hopes to get a violin in February and start lessons with Miss Amanda soon thereafter.  We're excited to see what's coming up for him!

David!  David!  David!  Where do I even start?  So much happens in just a day with him, that it's going to be difficult to squash his year down to one paragraph.  He's really had a good year when you sum it up.  He has had some issues in school, but like Ethan, it's more emotionally driven.  He's seeing the counselor and making progress.  Once my second surgery is over, I think a lot of his worry will be gone.  We'll pray and we'll see.  He is such a funny boy, always trying to make people laugh.  Highlight this year, had to be his desire to want to celebrate Hanukkah.  What made it so funny is that he only wanted to, because he wanted to spin the dreidel.  Oh David.  David is getting real drums, and lessons this year.  He's excited.  We are too! 

I love that all 3 boys have their own place that they shine!  My ears may hate me fore it later, haha, but the end result will be haappy boys fulfilling their dreams. 

I had a rollercoaster kind of year.  Obviously there was a lot of pain, a lot of depression and just a lot of moments where I just felt like I wasn't myself.  I wasn't able to be who God intended me to be, because I was falling into the black whole.  Luckily,  I have a great team of doctors, and some great friends and family who are always praying for me.  Healing came for me!  My doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon who dug a little deeper and found out that surgery was our one and only option.  The physical therapy that they were doing was bad for me.  I had my right hip replaced October 28th, and I am doing really well with the recovery.  Another issue I have is fibromyalgia.  I was referred to a rheumatologist, and I was set aback when he prayed with me and had Bible verses to share with me.  God was most definitely involved in lining him up!  Unfortunately, we haven't found anything medicinal or therapeutic to help yet, but we are still trying.  We meet monthly and I thoroughly enjoy our visits.  One final doctor that I will mention, is my ENT doc.  I went to him for the masses that are in my jaw.  Most people immediately think TMJ.  No, after the doctor first thinking I was imagining things and was a hypochondriac, and lip biopsies to rule out Sjogrens disease and Lymphoma, scans showed that I have an extra set of parotid glands.  Unfortunately, there is 1 doctor in WA that has ever done surgery to remove them before.  Tricare won't cover them.  So I am stuck with the pain.  The reality is, if I have the surgery, I can get partial facial paralysis.  So instead of doing the surgery, they said I have to wait until they grow and start causing problem, such as partial facial paralysis.  They have grown a little bit since then.  I think I may make an appointment for a check-up with him...A lot going on, but one thing I know, God will see me through it!

2011 was great, and ended really well too!  We had a nice Christmas and a fun New Years Eve.  We went to the movies for NYE and saw Happy Feet 2 and Jack and Jill.  They were both really good!  We came home and had pizza with the kids and I made some homemade brownies for dessert.  We had the company of the Crews family and everybody but David made it until midnight.  I got my kiss from my hubby, love from Cheyton and Ethan, and gave David a kiss on the cheek!  A great end to 2011!